Brideslaves?

I have to say, I have been very lucky to have such great bridesmaids. I have tried my absolute hardest to not be anything even remotely close to a bridezilla. I can only hope that my bridesmaids can attest to that. While my wedding might be the most important thing on my mind, I realize it is not exactly their top priority with their own busy lives. I really had no expectations of them, as I am sure they had none of me.

The way we roll is pretty laid back. I have kept them informed about different appointments and what not, and if they are free to come along then they will. No hurt feelings and zero issues if they can't.

They were able to choose their own dress which means they had complete control over the cost. They know there will be a hair and makeup artist available should they choose to have that done. If they want to, great. If they don't, that's cool too.

To be quite honest the best unspoken policy we have had is to be completely open and honest with each other about everything from shoes to the bachelorette party.

I believe this great system we have all stems from all that I have bore witness to during my travels to bridal shows, shops and the like over the past sixteen months of our engagement.

I remember during one of my first bridal outings with my mom and sister, I had what started as a lovely conversation with another bride to be. We had been discussing things such as dresses, shoes and so on. When the conversation then turned to bridesmaids. She told me that she is forcing all of her bridesmaids to tan before her wedding...at their own cost. If they don't want to, then they don't have to be in her wedding.

I thought to myself yeesh, that sounds fairly demanding. Maybe I am missing something and that's just how it is? I had never personally been in a wedding before so I was not completely up to date on how things go.

Then a few months later, an acquaintance of mine who is also getting married, told me that she was going to be "firing" one of her bridesmaids. I did not know that a bridesmaid could be fired.

Maybe she had to hire some bridemsaids, who knows? With her attitude, I am thinking that might have been the case.

Her reasoning was that her bridesmaid wasn't available to help with any of her DIY projects. Thus, she's out of the bridal party. I quote, "she should want to help me put together my paper lanterns and fold the origami place cards."

Those words actually came out of her mouth. I know, I was shocked too. How I held in mounds of laughter is beyond me.

My question is, since when did bridesmaids turn into brideslaves?

The more and more I immerse myself into the the wonderful world of weddings, the more I realize this has unfortunately become fairly common. I mean hello, have you seen the bridesmaids version of Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta? Enough said.

I became aware of this ghastly bridal behavior fairly early on in my engagement. This made me super aware of how I treated others around me. I am most certainly not trying to toot my own horn, but I think it is important to keep everything in perspective. I am sure I have had my moments, but I have tried to remain very conscientious.

It is crucial to remember that these girls (and guys!) are your sisters and friends. Not only do they have the honor of standing next to you on your wedding day, but you also have the honor of standing next to them.

Maybe I am being ultra critical, but where do you stand on this issue? Do you have any expectations of your bridesmaids? Have any bridesmaid horror stories that you might be able to share?